Humility Rules OK

The Lake is open!!

That's the thought I woke up with, after talking to another swimmer in wycombe pool about the fact the olympians are swimming in it (Russians I think...) they've come early, and every 50 meter pool in the area has given up water for this wonderful mission! He asked me if I'd swum in the lake yet, I boldly told him I was way ahead of him, having swum the Serpentine in a swimsuit and Poole in rainy, choppy conditions. Pride before a fall?....

In all eagerness I reached out to anyone I thought might 'fancy' a swim with me in the Westhorpe lake in marlow on Bank holiday monday 7th May. Plenty of hope as always, and just 45 minutes before planned entry the lovely Juliette called asking if I was going - 'Really??'. Now, it's not normal for me, but for some reason I felt a little trepdation around this particular swim, I confessed to being nervous and delight at her coming. Perhaps the thought of going alone, or the knowledge that with only 20 weeks to go, I just have to 'get on with it' - there are no walls to kick off from, it just requires one arm after the other, and the face to be in the water. I say 'Just'....

On arrival there were about 30 other swimmers, including a few from the Gnarly nutters clb that I regularly swim with - Craig and Richard, all talking about doing a full loop of the lake - around a mile if I understand correctly. Juliette, a little more sensible, was suggesting (and only because she'd already cycled 77 miles that day - gulp) that we just swim to the first buoy and back. My bravado, lack of analysis on the enormity of the situation led me to agree a full loop was the only option. Fully wetsuited, 2 hats, goggles, ear plugs, and getting into the 12 degree water was ok!

The 'OK' Ended there

The wetsuit felt like an over tight glove strangling my neck, the murky water with the branches, leaves and floating debris was disturbing, the cold seeped into my brain, and the buoy looked miles away, even further when every stroke doesn't take you forwards but sideways (I haven't figured out swimming in a straight line). Thank the Lord for Juliette, for her patience, her gentleness, her encouragement and her constant checking in that I was ok. Breathing became the biggest problem, the inability to take a full breath, regardless of how much I tried to relax, although the voice of the two men who coached us at the serpentine and poole also didn't allow for much relaxation

"Keep swimming, you'll get too cold, and then you will be in trouble!"

So the conflict continued in my head.

'Don't cry' 'Get me out of here''Keep Swimming' 'Please let me stop''The wetsuit will help if you let it''My arms aren't working'

. The voices were so loud.

It's cathartic to write this all down. Some things I do know:- The journey to the end game can be tough, and the tough days maximise learning in a way that good days just don't seem to. I had a few like that in the training for my BlackBelt in Karate a few years ago. I cried for 2 days solid after one particularly tough session. Speaking to a a leader today, he spoke to the value of making mistakes/'losing'/ failing, being 3-4 times more powerful than the winning, and it's what I preach to leaders regularly. The 'Knowing Doing Gap' as i would say to my kids. AND a greater purpose than just crossing the lake - watch out for our JustGiving page...

As much as I want to be superwoman, perfect, invincible, and have all the drivers to be ok, this was a reminder of the power of nature, and the enormity of the mind over body, and a perfect learning point to see how I responded. We stopped short of the first buoy and Juliette gave me permission to swim back, touching her toes, swimming 40 strokes at a time. Vulnerable, Humbled, and trying to digest the learning without beating myself to hard, we made it back.

It seems so dramatic now in hindsight, but was so scary at the time, and patience with myself is going to be a key part of the next 20 weeks.

Once again, I have Juliette to thank, who broke down the journey into bitesize chunks, and a wonderful phone call with Niki as I whimpered down the phone, a vital reminder that women, when we support each other, are powerful beyond measure (to quote Marianne Williamson), and I know, I know now, that there will be more times like this, but I am not alone. There are wonderful people there to remind us that when we ask, we seek, we are vulnerable, people will step in and help and how wonderful that is to be cared for in such a visible way.

The Sea Breezers in Poole - 28 April 2012

Mastering swimming in the Sea was always going to be the toughest step. So apart from our one Dover swim in September 2011 and our various holidays this was the first Sea Breezers swim. Whilst the weather on Friday was glorious blue sky and gentle waves, 7am Saturday morning proved a little different, the rain, wind and cold returned during the night to sap any warmth we'd built up from the toasty bagels and hot tea breakfast.

Bob Holman, our new best friend, chairman of the East Dorset Open water swimming association, and all round fantastic guy met us, in the rain, on the beach at 8am, an incredible response to my 'fair maiden call for help'. This, after my Uncle Paul (and Aunty Mary who we were staying with), said he would not support us going into a new sea without a clear picture of the tides, the risks and the areas we should swim in. Thank goodness we did, Bob guided us in the route to swim, walked along the shore to keep an eye on us, and coached us on how to cope properly in the cold (stay fit, so you can keep up the stroke, which means the core stays warm) - "Seeemples", Big hats off though, as confident as the four of us were, the safety and assurance of having an expert close by was just wonderful.

Thank Bridget for taking the picture!

So, what of the swim? We made the decision to wear wetsuits, in the rain, wind and cold, we decided it was more important to do the swim, learn about our reactions to the waves, the cold on our heads and the gagging from salt water, rather than get too cold and only last for a short time. An hour in, just under 2 miles, and the only one swimming straight was Sarah, why doesn't the sea have lines on the bottom!!

Niki's parents also joined us on the beach, Richard being stir crazy after a hip operation (and then marching around on the sand with his crutches!!), and Susie being a great mum ready with the umbrella and a hug, and then looking after Moralee's wetsuit (yes she went in for the last 20 minutes in a swimsuit - she's well hard). One swim down, Chilblains, Frozen limbs, Bruised chafed necks, but all worth it, Brighton in 2 weeks, Eton 3k swim in 4 weeks, and the schedule continues...getting in the sea proved that we can all do it, we can swim for an hour, and that the rain, the choppy sea and the cold are just part of the ever changing landscape, in the words of some great philosopher

Go Big or Go Home

A year can make all the difference....

I walked into the heated pool area had a 20 minute chat with Pete Frost my new swim coach, and after an attempt to swim a length of breast stroke, he uttered the now immortal words 'OKAY! Let's start with the basics, floating, rotating and breathing, before we even consider swimming frontstroke'. That was 22 March 2011.

Moralee and I walked into the heated pool area, said hello to the Gnarly Nutters tri club and joined them for a 1 hour swim including 15 x 100 meters off 2 minutes. A quick sauna and a break for 45 minutes and back into the pool for exactly an hour and 150 lengths. A quick banana break for 30 mins and then back in for a final half an hour of 15 x 100 meters. 2.5 hours nearly 7 kilometers. That was 17 March 2012.

Lemon and I walked into Hyde Park, as the sun peeked gently through wispy cloud, and we watch 2 men with pink hats and pink skin swimming past us in the serpentine, we spot the other two 'sea breezers' waiting by the club house (Moralee and Gisby) and squeal excitedly before stripping off to our swimsuits, giggling at our madness and heading for the steps.

That was today, 7.30am Saturday 14th April 2012, we lasted 20 minutes, in 10 degree water, (if you want to know how that feels, just dip your head in a big tub of ice cream...my twin Andi and our friend Dibs may recall doing that aged 13... )and then had the shakes so bad we could hardly drink our tea! (From the left:- Niki Lemon, Bridget Gisby, Sarah Moralee, Nikki Watkins)

One benefit of swimming in the river was we met some of the fantstic serpentine team, chatted about the channel and got additional ideas for how we're going to approach it, the naked men in the shared small changing hut were a little surprising (not much to see after the cold water though:) heh heh, but when you realise how cold your body is, your modesty leaves you and getting the wet swimsuit off is all that matters...thanks John for your old dressing gown, we'll all be looking for old heavy towelling robes now! Mum hand them over:)

Anyway, a year does make a difference, I've learnt to respect water with its variety of temperatures, flows, tastes, and buoyancy. I understand more than ever that the mind does matter, I've discovered proper fuel is required or my body doesn't work, and today I discovered the absolute pleasure of swimming parallel with my sea breezer team, able to see their bodies and faces and to feel the collective energy of this powerful group of women, I am so proud to be a part of it!

Roll on our shared sea training sessions, go large or go home.

How many channel crossings can I complete before the date?

John bought me a swimming watch for my birthday, and at last it came out of its packaging and into the pool last week. Apart from the odd technical hitch (I kept inadvertently pressing buttons...) it recorded some interesting stats on my swim about my efficiency (above average thanks to starting from scratch), my stroke, my speed etc.

It wasn't until thursday night when I was talking to my son Ben about the stats that he asked me a great question - "How far is the channel, and how many times will you swim it (in miles) before the date?"

What a great visualisation! So, from 1st March I am now recording the mileage I swim, and having just got back from a 7am Gnarly Nutters swim session this fine saturday morning, I am now on 2.2 miles, over 10% of the way across the channel as the crow flies. I LOVE IT!

I have had many 'realisations' during my training, and probably the biggest one is the level of commitment required to achieve any big goal. Whilst my daughter Jess was at Oxford Brookes Uni last week applying for Art Foundation I went swimming in a local pool. Having decided to do a 90 minute swim, after only 30 minutes they closed it for school children :( Undeterred I leapt out, surfed my blackberry for other pools in the vicinity, phoned 2 who sadly had the same timetable, accosted a poor man to find any other recommendations, and finally realised a lot of the pools in oxford are shut 9.30 - 12 on wednesdays.

A less determined person would have quit and gone to the Macdonalds on the Headington roundabout (yup i did consider it..), however, I had made the commitment to swim, so rather than procrastinate, I made a decision, I jumped in the car, drove the 25 miles back to High Wycombe, put my wet suit back on and swam for another hour, before returning to oxford to collect Jessica.

Breaking down the big goal into these smaller commitments may be obvious, but what happens is that we get a boost every time we achieve them. Yes, I felt very self righteous, but what I felt most was the satisfaction of sticking to my commitment. This mindset has helped many who are trying to achieve breakthroughs, or hit a longstanding goal, and I know it will be what helps me to swim in september 2012. Each leg is an hour, each hour gets us closer to france, each stroke is for a greater good. The commitment is to myself, to my team mates, and most of all to the charities we support.

As Zig Ziglar said “It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.”

Old Friends New Friends

"Get ready to swim. I have a friend who is an open water swimmer and he is keen to take you out along Jericho. You'll need a wet suit. Temperature should be 7-8 degrees. How does that sound?"

That is not the kind of email I would have expected from my gorgeous friend Cathy a year ago...and frankly it sounds mad!

However, it is now, and yesterday was the day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the water as still as a millpond, it sounds idyllic until you put your face in the sea.

Jamie arrived to greet us at the Vancouver Jericho Sailing club, I was already in my wetsuit raring to go (ignorance is bliss), before completing the look with thermal hats, gloves and surf boots - thanks to Cathy's begging and borrowing from Pete and Glenda (seriously, thank you both!!!)

The sea took my breath away, and it never quite came back, I lost control of my mouth after about 5 minutes because of the cold, and after swallowing sea water continuously, lost my lunch half way through. The wetsuit puts a pressure on my shoulders that is quite unpleasant, and the gloves and boots were a clumsy addition to the swimming - sounds like heaven?

So what was good about it? The sea was mostly calm, I swam for about 30 minutes, Cathy walked along the shore cheering me on, (Jamie was off like a rocket!) and a chance meeting with Isabelle another good friend on the beach gave me a chance for a quick kiss hello and a little adrenalin hit of having two wonderful inspirational girls cheering me on and just being there for me too!

Jamie, I long to swim with the vigor you had, mind over matter when your head feels like its bleeding! I will never forget this day as a fantastic chance to swim in the sea with the snow covered mountains and the Vancouver city sky line behind. Cathy and Jamie made it happen - that is VERY special.

Old friends, New friends, if we open ourselves up to it, there are plenty who are willing to help us fulfil our dreams, to be a part of something special and bigger than all of us, the human connection.

Team Spirit

No not the drink that shares the same name as our Channel team! But the sort that warms the soul from the tips of your toes and back up again, after our swim in Putney a week ago, I was joined by Bridget for an early morning Gnarly Nutters swim in marlow, followed by a very painful spinning class (bring on the gel saddle...).
Its the first class for both of us, and we were as usual treated with the culture that Pete Frosty has created in his tri club of openness, generosity, support and care, lots of smiles and laughter and a complete 'can do' attitude.
We LOVED it. It became apparent that whilst our swim team is 4 women, the extended team of supporters, coaches, friends, families and loved ones is the one that will really get us through. My best friend from vancouver Claire is flying over to be on the boat while I swim. I am welling up just thinking how special and precious that is, to fly half way round the world to see your mad friend leap into the channel - it takes true friendship that started for us as teamwork, 15 years ago, building cultural change into a fantastic organisation called Crystal.
Culture is created by people. The culture of our swim team starts with us, but is influenced by everyone around it. It's team spirit at its best and it makes me so proud.
4 Open water swims signed up for today - between 1 mile and 3.6 km - i can only do it because of the team!

Sea Breezers Swim practice

Our first swim in 2012, with our lucky Gnarly nutters hats, after planning our calendar of Dover, Poole and open water swims. By the time we get into the sea in September we will have done at least 11 Dover swims conditioning ourselves for the cold, the rain, the waves and the dark waters.

We also plan to spend some days at the swimming pool where we get in and out, so that we experience the challenge of a 90 minute swim repeated over 12 hours, and I confess a sense of relief that we will at least be physically fit if we do everything we plan as a base and build on that to meet our calendars.

Today was 60+ lengths of the 33 meter long pool in Putney. What was lovely
was the connection and joy I felt towards three talented, powerful and inspirational women, as we were all motivating and coaching each other, sharing fears, hopes and dreams, and crafting our approach to the challenge. It will be something special that when we've done it, we'll be linked in that way that only people who've been through something tough together know.

Friends forever, a deep rooted trust in each other, and a story to tell our future generations. Here's to an extraordinary 2012, I am so proud to be part of this crew :)